have you ever had days that you can't put your heart to anything?

you want to do this, keeping in mind there is still "that"
and you look at that, but all you wanted was this.

strange as it sounds,
you know you have other more important responsibilities,
yet you know you have the responsibility to entitle you self to a piece of freedom.
but after some soul searching you realized all that was wrong was you giving your self too much liberty.

so you desperately want to concentrate on some thing.
complete a few great task at hand

or
atleast

at the very least

enjoy every moment of slacking.

but in the end all you do is squander the time away.
wasting every minute of it like it was cheaper than the air.

but you know most of the other times, you need time like it's oxygen under the sea.

however, this probably was in your genes
(yes, when you have nothing to blame. push it to the root of your humanity)
like how serial murder sociopaths have an extra Y chromosome and should be totally freed of all the responsibilities.

they can't control.
it's their body that it's controlling the souls after all.


to say that i am depressed now, would very be an understatement.
but it's the closest to the description.
so it would be allowed.

just like the world depression is least likely to sum up what life is about,
but some times it's just the closest that life could get.
so some depression in a few minutes of yourself should be allowed.



p.s might close this blog. i hate resigning with different gmail account everday.
so ya. i don't want to lose the memories but switching gmail acc is hell alot hateful.
and CY had said that i probably shld post stories on blogs. but i dismissed the idea.
but now it's starting to hit me that may it isn't a bad idea after all...